The first time I saw Demi Moore in person was in 2011. I was living in New York and attending Kabbalah classes on the regular. I went to a party in celebration of Purim where you are expected to wear a costume. The idea is by wearing a costume, we feel free to reveal our true selves. Demi was there with Ashton; they dressed as pigs. I wasn’t able to see her face but knew it was her. Madonna was there too as Charlie Chaplin and I dressed as a cat. I wondered why Demi hid her face? After reading her new memoir Inside Out, I think she was protecting herself.
Thursday night, I went to a promotional event at the Writer’s Guild Theater in Beverly Hills knowing I’d see Demi again. This time however; the mask would be off. When Demi took the stage, she seemed somewhat shy and nervous. Lena Dunham was supposed to lead the conversation but couldn’t make it. Instead longtime friend Amanda de Cadenet conducted the interview which seemed to put Demi at ease. Inside Out is divided into three parts. Survival, Success and Surrender. I sat and listened to Demi talk about her early life. Being raped at 15yrs old; pimped out by her mother for five hundred dollars. Her parents moved often, they drank a lot. Demi had to fend for herself, she had to be the adult. She suffered major trauma that turned into feelings she wasn’t worthy of anything. By 16, she was practically living on her own. And by 17, married her first husband Freddy Moore.
Later on, her feelings of unworthiness would manifest into her own drinking, drug use and body issues. By the time, she reached “success” Demi was making hit movies, married to Bruce Willis and a mother of three girls. She made headlines posing nude while pregnant for the cover of Vanity Fair. During the Q&A, Demi reflected on how her grandmother told her how women at church judged pregnant women. Whispering “isn’t it time she stayed home.” As if being pregnant was something to be ashamed of, Demi was happiest at this moment and wanted to celebrate motherhood.
Demi took unconventional roles in the films Indecent Proposal, Striptease and G.I. Jane that challenged societal norms. She was sober but her addiction would morph into excessive exercise. In the public eye, she appeared to have it all but she was hurting deeply inside.
Demi and Bruce split but maintained a healthy relationship co-parenting. Demi would find love again in Ashton Kutcher. He was 25, Demi was 40. She tried desperately hard to make it work. She even agreed to letting other women into their marriage. But that wasn’t enough for Ashton, he cheated, got caught and cheated again. Demi learned of the news via a Google alert. When Demi was with Ashton she started drinking again, she wanted to be the “fun girl” he was looking for. When their marriage ended, her drinking got worse, she was also abusing pills. After a night of partying, Demi had a seizure and 911 was called.
At 50yrs old, Demi found herself alone. Her children stopped speaking to her. Her career was stalled and there was no man in her life. She asked herself “how did I get here?” And by doing so, she learned to surrender. Surrender to the idea that things don’t happen to us but for us. Realizing we learn survival skills by the pain we suffer. And by letting go of the anger we have towards those who hurts us and ourselves is when we can truly heal. Demi Moore writes from a place of heart, and vulnerability. Demi notes “I’ve had an extraordinary luck in life: both bad and good. Putting it all down in writing makes me realize how crazy a lot of it has been, how improbable. But we all suffer, and we all triumph, and we get to choose how we hold both.” Demi Moore is a beautiful person inside and out.
Inside Out is out now and available at bookstores everywhere. Check it out!
